Thank you JOSHUA for your mesmerizing music…

It was a usual Wednesday morning. My mom like always came to wake me up with Muffin and Miffy. Fluffy decided not to give them company as she is extremely upset with her recent atrocious grooming, courtesy dad and believe me she looks terrible. Somewhat like a compressed little dwarf  J…(Well…thank God, their language is unintelligible to us..and this is for your information that, here I am talking about my dogs).

It was already 8.45 am by the time I got up from my bed and rushed to the bathroom. Took a quick shower and rushed to my clinic. My duty hours for Wednesdays are from 9 am to 5.30 pm. But invariably I reach my clinic not before 10 am on Wednesdays. Interestingly my boss is so used to this inevitable fact that she just doesn’t say anything to me.

Every Wednesdays I work only and only with Autistic children and I have about 10-15 children coming for regular follow ups to my clinic. Most of you already know what Autism is, but let me give you a little brief on this childhood disorder called Autism.

Autism means a pervasive developmental disability significantly affecting verbal and non-verbal communication and social interaction, generally evident before age 3 that adversely affects social, emotional and communicative functions. Autism is characterized by impaired social interaction (the child with Autism remains aloof, does not like any social contacts, no eye contact and remains in his own dream world), communication ( e.g. total lack of or delay in the development of spoken language, repetitive parrot like speech called echolalia, lack of social imitative and make believe play) , and by restricted and repetitive behavior (such as stereotyped and repetitive hand movements or finger flapping, abnormal preoccupation with parts of objects etc)

It’s been 3 years since I started working extensively with Autistic children. This is one disorder which really fascinates me as a clinician. Honestly speaking I believe that these children are way gifted than any one of us, the so called “normal people.” No matter how convincing theories are, I firmly believe in the fact that each child with autism has very unique characteristics and personality traits. These “special children” like to remain in their own world without any interference or change in their structured own ‘cocoon’.

Wednesdays are indeed very special for me because I get to meet some of my favorite kids (I know I am slightly biased when it comes to autistic kids…) and that particular Wednesday turned out to be a very memorable and special one in my professional career as a shrink.

Karan is an 8 years old boy diagnosed with moderate Autism. He comes to the clinic with his maternal grandmom. Nobody in his family understands his problem and terms him as “mad, abnormal”. I have counseled his parents so many times, showed them videos on autism and what not. My supervisor Mrs. Sunita Seshadri also tried talking to them, but all in vain. We all most gave up hope for this child as the parents were just not corporating and not ready to send him to the clinic. Our only ray of hope was Karna’s grandma, who came as a guardian angel for the little one. Karan’s parents abandoned him after they had their second child. Since then Karan stays with his maternal grandma. Even in that household Karan was getting a barbaric treatment, in his grandma’s absence. After much persuasion and constant home visits we managed to convince his grandmom to bring him to our clinic. She agreed with a condition that within 3 months if she doesn’t see any improvement she will discontinue with the treatment. I agreed, though I knew, that it is nearly impossible for me to reduce the symptoms and bring in much change in his behaviour keeping in mind the dysfunctional family he belongs to and he is already 8 years old without any form of treatment so far.

Karan never responds to anything. I tried various psychological interventions and therapies on him, but the result was not at all satisfying. I have seen that music really works wonders with autistic kids. I use music extensively for these kids. I use music as a reinforcer in my therapeutic interventions, specially with autistic children. But somehow Karan was not fond of music. That very day Karan was the first one to arrive. He sat in one corner. I was doing sensory integration therapy with him. Karan was very restless. After 10-15 mins we shifted to the play area and I gave him colors, sands and water to play with. This is one activity he always enjoyed doing. But that day he was still very restless. I just couldn’t sit at one place for more than 3-4 mins. I was clueless as to what must have caused this new behaviour on him. I noticed Karan’s eyes were glued to the speakers on the table. Suddenly he ran towards me and hugged me. I was so surprised because autistic children usually do not like to be hugged or held and they do not display any form of affection towards anyone, not even towards their mothers. To add to my surprise Karan held me hand and took me towards my cubicle. I quietly obliged to his non verbal request. Once we reached our cubicle he said “ music? No music?music,music…”I looked at him. He said, “aunty music, aunty music diya (put music)….” It was so zapped; it took me nearly few seconds to realize that what transpired between me and Karan. That was indeed a communication between me and the little one. This boy Karan who would never join two words together and he had qualitative impairment in communication, actually interacted with me. Wow….

I quickly hit my orientation back and played some music for him. He still appeared restless and kept touching my mouse pad. I kept on changing the tracks for him; finally I stopped at one of Joshua’s songs called the “Raindrops.”(well..I am talking about Joshua Queah here). You may think I am exaggerating, but believe me when I say this, Karan actually likes this song. From a very passive non expressive face his face turned meaningful, animated and so easy to read. As if this song had a soothing effect on his restless mind. After the song was over Karan insisted that I should play the same song for him again. Time froze for me at that moment.

Thanks Joshua for the mesmerizing music that u created. Through your music I saw improvement in my patient. I simply can’t explain what it means to me or for that matter any Shrink! I witnessed Karan from an emotionally indifferent and apathetic child towards a poignant and emotionally arousing child-all because of your music Joshua. It had the healing power. Joshua believes in creating a novelty in music that has something in it for everyone. And Joshua, your music has the elements of emotion, freshness, tenderness, love, passion and most importantly the X factor that could move lives, that could make lives so meaningful. This little child who doesn’t understand verbal communications or social interactions or does not have any functional abilities also expressed uttered the unspoken language of the soul- all because your music has the capacity to heal the differently abled child, your music has the power to heal the scarred soul, your music has the ability to reach out to deep seated emotions of the human mind.

Thanks a million Joshua for being a part of this special day in my life….

Days and months and have passed by. Karan has showed a lot of improvement. Now he has started to interact with me. He joins 2/3 words together and forms sentences. He has also started to show interest in being a part of a peer group. He acknowledges the presence of people around him. I use Joshua’s Music regularly in my clinic. I Use these pristine sounds as a positive reinforcer for the autistic children. And it works…. It worked for Karan and I am sure you will do the same wonders on my other kids as well (wait…until my next blog J)

Lessons learnt:

• Never underestimate the capabilities of these “special children.” They may not act, behave or work as normal children, but that does not mean that they don’t have feeling or emotions like any other so called normal children. Even some normal children fail to understand such intricate and creative modes of expression such as music. Autistic children may reflect certain symptoms and the DSM-IV R diagnoses them with one of the pervasive developmental disorders. But who are we to decide or categorize them as children with disabilities or children with special needs. Are we normal? Think about it? (I know I am questioning some of the norms of Psychiatry and the authorities could even seize my license as a practitioner…but I am just jotting down my thoughts. Its important that we utilize our grey matter and use our cognitive skills and believe me then only we can work towards a holistic approach in treating patients. Not formulate our treatment plans based on the diagnosis.)

You may not be in my life anymore, but I live my life through a musical journey that we started and created together!!! Take care

MY DOCUMENTARY SAGA......

My experience while shooting the documentary as well as anchoring the event was just brilliant. In spite of wearing a pair of hot pants and walking around I never even for once heard a lewd comment. People were just so docile and well mannered. I enjoyed every moment when I was on stage and the crowd took me to a different world all together. I just loved being in Karbi Anglong, what a wonderful place it is…

For the first time ever I felt as if I made a big blunder by saying yes to this documentary. There were too many people involved to control the situation. My dealing with Aiyushman was very clear cut. I will produce and direct the documentary and Eastern Beats will buy it from me, and naturally they will have the copyright to it. Miji asked me to give him a budget for the film and I told him the an x amount and he readily agreed to it. BUT Mr. AIYUSH had a major problem with the budget (honestly speaking I have never even though of doing a documentary on such a low cost). Sukanya, Miji, Morningkeey- these 3 people were communicating or rather miscommunication of a completely different tangent was happening. But Mr. Aiyush was nowhere to be seen in the picture. Its like those big banner movies, where you have a big star cast posters and banners being put up, but actually the hero is someone else. (what a pathetic simile…sorry). After 2-3 days of irritation, confusion, THREATENING (Aiyush passed on a message through Sukanya saying he will sue me, if I do the documentary and sell it somewhere) and constant phone calls I finally decided not to do the documentary at all….I AM DONE WITH YOU GUYS HONESTLY. I was emotionally too drained out when I heard Aiyush saying all that. I in a way trusted him, I consider him a special friend in my life. But why is he behaving in such a juvenile manner. Do you guys even know how to produce a documentary, and how much of hard work one has to put in?
Finally after all that emotional drama and saga, we came to this pathetic condition that I will have to use their studio, their editor n all other stuffs and I will be paid by eastern beats for “my not so hard work as a director”. (Till date I failed to understand what is the issue with Aiyushman and what will happen if Miji pays for the documentary, as I was made to understand that he is very much a part of eastern beats)…BUT there is more to the story than meets the eye…..ha ha ha 

Situation A: Have you heard of a absolute software called VELOCITY? Morningkeey asked me to use their studio which does not have FCP. I cant even imagine how miserable documentaries would look without Final Cut Pro. Believe me when I say this FCP can do wonders!!!
Situation B: I had to use their editor, and not my darling creative fellow Hiranya.
Situation C: I am to incorporate some old footage of eastern beats music society formerly known as “rocka rolla” and their activities. And those footages are to be collected by me from one guy who stays way out of Guwahati.
Situation D: I am suppose to finish editing and submit the first cut edit in 2 days time. And it must include the voice over and music.
Situation E: I am all alone coordinating everything. Unfortunately Tina ba was busy with another very important project. BUT people who should be around were just ordering me from else where.

Day in day out I was working at the studio. I finished editing at 4 am in the morning. And believe me I rushed directly to the airport since I had a flight to catch to Mumbai at 6.45 am.
IMPRESSIONS, RECOMMENDATIONS AND LESSONS TO BE LEARNT: I like doing things my way. I may not be an award winning director or a movie producer, but whatever I have produced and directed so far have been good and critically well acclaimed. And I also know the fact pretty well that I am creative enough, otherwise I can not sustain in this industry, and I don’t have to be a shrink to establish that fact through “Passi’s Creativity test” on myself.

Honestly I don’t like too much of interference in my work. However I am not arrogant and I take constructive criticism in a positive manner. But the concept of space is big time lacking in our so called media society I think. So this constant ordering definitely demoralized me and I could not concentrate well

YES most Important lesson I Learnt- KEEP PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS COMPLETELY OUT OF PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIPS, specially while working with people in Assam.

SPECIAL acknowledgement: Thanks John da for doing the narration and voice over. You have a brilliant voice. Your diction is just so perfect for a voice over.
Rupam-for all the encouragement you provided me while doing my work. Your presence during those 2 days did make a lot of difference.-being there at the studio just to say hi or be it those phone calls to find out how I am doing. Rupam truly you are a darling.
Tina ba-thanks a million for having that faith and confidence on me…mmmmuuuaaahhhh love you tones!
GARY- U R My SOULMATE and I need not say anything more than that.
Mom and dad- thanks for staying awake late for me, to pick me up from the studios. (thanks for funding me as well...mmmuuaaahhh)

p.s-all the characters are real, but however the opinions expressed are subjective and it is subjected change!!!

My journey to Karbi Anglong and BEATS CONTEST 2009

I think this is my eleventh attempt to write my blog on the recently concluded Karbi Anglong Beats Contest. Whenever I make up my mind to write, some distractions usually surround me, at times in the form of Miffy or Muffin, at times food, at times boredom and yes of course sleep. But finally today I have decided to pen down my thoughts before venturing into anything (even if its in the form of dark fantasy with chocolate sauce or Caramel Popcorn, hah!)
I met Aiyushman a week before the Karbi Anglong beats contest. In our so called meeting we discussed everything but the documentary on the beats contest 2009. I first met Aiyushman sometimes in the month of March 2009 in his office as I went there to give a write up on Joshua. On that day I barely interacted with him. After that I did see him couple of times in the local music concerts and rock gigs, but never exchanged more than just a smile or a hi.

For so many years I knew Aiyushman as a sincere journalist who is the features editor of The Sentinel. He is this really cute chubby cheeked guy (not too many guys like to be associated with the word “cute” and Aiyush is no exception here!!!). We had quite a meaningful conversation on different aspects of life. He is someone with a lot of substance unlike a lot of hollow and fake human beings I interact with everyday (well.. no pun intended)

I reached the Railway Station little ahead of my scheduled time. I was super excited about my journey to Karbi Anglong as this was my second train journey in life. Met Aiyush, Morningkeey ( another interesting character…I shall talk later about him), Sukanya ba and the rest of the gang outside the station and we proceeded towards the platform to board the train. All most 20 of us were traveling together towards our destination Diphu to witness the Karbi Anglong Beats Contest. Dark Horizon, Brutal Agitation and Death On The Horizon (D.O.T.H) - these 3 bands were the guests bands who will perform at the Beats Contest.

Not very often we realize the beautiful place we live in. Assam is literally an uncrowned jewel and its pristine and untouched beauty in terms of its culture, landscapes and traditions is remarkable. While the train moved crossing peddy fileds, misty mountains, lush green jungles I realized how blessed I am to be able to witness the breathtaking beauty of my place. Northeast is indeed a paradise unexplored. Now I genuinely feel that I have many more reasons to stay back in Assam..huh 

So finally reached Karbi Anglong and checked in into the govt. guest house. I shared the room with Susan-a journalist from Dimapur. By the time I reached the guest house I was famished and I had SUNGA PORK (didn’t bother at all about my pimples…but later I cribbed and I cribbed and cribbed)

The beats contest kicked off at around 4 pm, as a part of Rontheyang Festival of Karbi Anglong. 10 local bands were fighting their battle for the Karbi Anglong Beats Contest 2009 winner’s trophy. The quality of the musician was really amazing and worth a remark. The beats contest was organized by Eastern Beats Music Society in association with Rontheyang club. The contest was held in memory of the people who lost their lives in the serial bomb blasts of Assam on the 30th Oct. 2008. It was a tribute to those innocent souls who lost their lives.

Aiyushman asked me anchor the beats contest and the peace march. I was not at all prepared for the show, so I had to let do with a pair of shorts, a t shirt and a pair of boots. And the worst part was that I didn’t have my Mac and Clinique make up products with me…booo hooo hooo. But I managed to look gorgeous anyway…(when I am writing this blog you must remember that my self esteem was really high.. )

I started on a very emotional note and narrated the devastation of that dreadful day of 30th Oct. 2008. “Mothers lost their sons, children lost their fathers, for some families life simply stopped moving, maybe their sole bread winner of the family fell a victim in those blasts. More than 150 people died for no fault of theirs. Poor daily wage laborers and vendors were packing their stuffs to go back home to be with their family, wife, their children. Hoping to provide the best things possible to their family. Those fathers never returned home. Lives of many were shattered. Their dreams and hopes died an untimely death. 30th Oct. 2008, a day which can not be erased out from the minds of anyone living in Assam. Violence and terrorism are not new to us. But violence of such intensity has definitely shaken us. Through this musical journey we want to tell the whole world that Music is the universal language we all need to speak and not violence. Music has the power to bring communities together. Music is not confined to any region or community; it speaks the language of the soul”.

The peace march began when 5000 candles went up in the air to pay homage to the victims of the Assam serial bomb Blasts. For me it was truly a touching moment, when I saw people literally in tears, specially the youngsters. It left me with a feeling of hope for my state. I felt as if through music we will be able to heal the world, as if through music we will be able to overcome our insurgency and terrorism problem.

What happens when two crazy women meet!!!

Hi guys!
what do you think, what can happen when two gorgeous, beautiful, intelligent, creative, capable and independent women meet? There are virtually couple of options to this situation. One is definitely a catastrophic reaction, which comprises of  gossips, cat fights, jealousy, endless discussions on boy friends, envy, bitching and so on and so forth. The second option is perhaps slightly rare or rather not a very obvious one....

For me and Tina life started rolling.... (well its not that we were stagnant. The wheels were always there, its just that its moving faster and faster now :)...). But some magic happens when we meet. As a product of that reaction       bubbles of creativity stems from within. So as a unlikely result of two women interacting some very unique ideas were perceived.

And here it goes....Siang MmiFlicks Productions